Wednesday, January 21, 2009

 
Moving On

Today I had my last meeting with my CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse), I've been seeing him for the last few months since he took over from the team in Milton Keynes. He's referring me back to my GP who will, if needs be should I get so depressed that I need more specialist help pass me over to a newly formed group called "Changing Minds". This group will be acting as the 'first line defence' helping people who suffer my type of depression and anxiety problems, they intervene quickly to help prevent patients having to be referred to the crisis teams of the mental health department of the local primary care trust. I'm glad that at last I've been moved on I am so much happier in myself and feel I can cope far better that I ever did in Milton Keynes. Steve called round earlier and I filled him in with what had been discussed, in chatting we both came to the conclusion that there was one major event that was the trigger to my being hospitalised in Dec' 06 and that the move to Northampton has been a major help in my recovery and my ability to cope with the phases of depression and anxiety I still suffer from time to time.

Physically though things aren't so great, I was going to go down to London for a couple of days today, however I've been in a lot of pain, getting round has been difficult. Every part of my body aching and parts are sensitive to touch, I seem to have itches all over too, I want to keep rubbing the itches but that only seems to make the itching even worse. I've put cream on, it has given me a smidgen of relief but not a lot. I guess that a trip to see the doctor is in order to see what if anything can be done to ease my physical problems or try to get more help in being able to cope.

The weather is very mixed we've had days and days of below freezing temperature or milder days when it seems almost balmy, for over two weeks the temperature failed to go above 0C since then up to 9C or even 12C. Last night it went back to -4C again. I awoke to the view of my car trying to change colour from blue to a shade of white with a hint of blue to it and that was at 10:30 this morning. Hey ho I expect it will be a day for wearing my swimming trunks tomorrow hehe. The cold temperatures we have had are nothing compared to those suffered by my on-line friend Ginger in Ontario, Canada, there is has been as low as -28C rising only to about -10C once in a while. I could never cope with that sort of cold.

Well I'm off to take another strong pain-killer with the hope that I will feel comfortable enough to get a good night's rest tonight so bye for now.




Sunday, January 11, 2009

 
Things that vanish!
About a month ago I was pottering about in my bedroom when for some reason I decided that I really should recharge my ipod, I disconnected it from the portable speakers ready to take back into the sitting room. Not sure what distracted me it might have been a phonecall but distracted I was. Now since then I cannot find my ipod anywhere, between us Steve, Deej and I have turned the place upside down and inside out and we can't find it at all. Today I went to use my nail clippers they live in a drawer in the sideboard. Guess what? They have vanished too. When I was a child if anything went astray my mother used to offer a prayer to St Anthony the missing items usually turned up eventually. Prayers offered to said saint recently have fallen on deaf ears!

Christmas was quiet, the day itself was spent at Steve's where a good time was had by all. Got too see Gary just before the New Year festivities and gave him his Christmas gifts both of which he was delighted. I wore his gift to me a fabulous Police brand designer watch, I love it and will wear it on special occasions with my dress suit. New Year itself was as usual seen in by me tucked up snugly in bed listening to the radio, it was only the fireworks set off that disturbed my slumbers.

The Daventry Express (known locally as the "Gusher") followed through with their article about Eydon Players pantomime in their Christmas Eve edition, I am very pleased with it, lots of photographs along with an interesting article which included quotes and references from Judith, Geoff and myself.

The weather in the UK has been COLD sometimes way below freezing last week it was minus 8C, Today is about the mildest it been for nearly two weeks, I wonder how long the slightly warmer weather will last. I has been so cold that the government paid out a Cold Weather Payment £25 which has increased from £8.50 a week, the last time I received such a payment was several years ago. So that is an extra payment towards my electricity bill all I need to do now is get a man in to show me how to light my gas fire which has me and several friends baffled on how to get it going.

Oh well time for a cup of coffee and a slice of cake methinks so a Very Happy New Year to all of you that read this blog, Your comments are always appreciated

Monday, December 22, 2008

 
It's Bah Humbug Time Again

Yet again it has been a couple of months since I updated this blog of mine so I guess an update is due. Christmas is a time I really dislike, way too many people spending too much, full of false bonhomie towards everyone, loading their supermarket trolleys so full that you would think the stores were closing down for at least a week instead of about 36 hours at the most. I am not a Christian believer but all these so-called believers seem to have forgotten what Christmas is actually suppose to be about. It is not about spending as much as possible on gifts or getting blotto it is about the birth of a child who if you have the Christian faith was/is your Redeemer.

Since the pantomime ended I have been trying to keep busy doing bits and bobs each day, I I've been down to David and Greg's a couple of time and stayed overnight. made sure I've relaxed, read, watched tv and tried to ensure I've eaten fairly regularly too. BUT the purple gloom has been ever present, sometimes I'm just aware it is there at other times it is almost as bad as it was two years ago when I had my breakdown, I'm not sure whether the depression is due to me having no show to concentrate on or if it is partly because I'm having more problems with my mobility, etc.which or whatever is the reason it is getting harder to cope with most of the time I just want to lock myself away in bed and hope that when I'm asleep I don't wake up again.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

 
It's Been A Hard Week

Or perhaps I should say a hard five days. After writing my blog last Tuesday I popped into town to sort out finances at the bank, I was feeling fairly chipper so decided to pop over to Milton Keynes to see if I could get any goodies from Let's Eat and perhaps a book or several from Waterstones, and perhaps treat myself to a coffee/hot chocolate at one of the Starbucks coffee bars too. On arrival decided that I felt strong enough to take a very slow stroll through the mall instead of using Shopmobility. This eventually proved to be my total undoing. Got up to Let's Eat to find they had very few American treats in-store, left feeling very let down. Off to Waterstones, here better luck got a book one of the Monsieur Pamplemousse series by Michael Bond, Starbucks next door was heaving so gave it a miss. Somehow found myself browsing in Hotel Chocolate instead...(say no more). Krispy Kremes seemed to call out my name as I passed so in I went, a dozen doughnuts later off into Marks and Spencer's and back to the car.

Once in the car I checked the time and was horrified to find it was 3.00pm It had taken me 3 hours to get round the mall and as I drove home I realized just how much I was hurting, every joint ached, making the journey painful. Home about half hour later and struggled to get indoors, settled down and once my painkillers took effect drifted off into a state of being not quite asleep nor awake either. Woke a couple of hours later to the phone ringing, tried to get up and promptly fell over, luckily back onto settee, instead of the floor or coffee table, I was in so much pain, my legs felt stiff and difficult to move. Once again I had tried to do too much walking when I should have used my brain and used the Shopmobility scheme in MK! Gary also rang, we had a good gossip (put the world to rights as usual!) and I explained how I was feeling, he sounded quite concerned and hoped I would feel better in the morning. Went to bed after his call, took a sleeping pill and had a good night's sleep. Wednesday morning though I could hardly move I struggled to get up and get about, every move was slow and painful, Steve called round for a chat and on his advice I let Judith know I wasn't up to going to rehearsal, that evening. Spent the day and early evening trying to rest up, Gary called up to check on how I was coping, I know if I'd asked him too he would have driven down to help me despite having had a long day at work if I'd needed him too. I am very lucky in the amount of friends I have that are willing to put themselves out for me if I need them too. Steve, my number 1 friend and carer, Gary in Brum David and Greg in London all make my life easier and safer by me just knowing they are there and caring for me. THANKS GUYS LOVE YOU!!

Friday saw me being a twit again, went to see David and Greg and yes walked too much again this time round the West End in London, also went to Whole Foods Market for some treats, David insisted I used the shopping wheelchair there with him pushing it, what bliss both floors covered in comfort. Had a great journey home until junction 10 of M1, got delayed by an accident that had just occurred, if that hadn't been the case I would have covered the 70 plus miles from Clapham in under an hour and a half, a record time!

Saturday spent recovering from Friday's exercises as today is too, I am getting fed up to the back teeth with not being as mobile as I want and need to be as it means I either cannot do or have to ask someone else to do things for/with me I like to be independent, go my own way in my own time, now it seems I am going to have to ask people to help me with things and I really hate that.

On lighter notes, Minerva is a lovely feline who still insists on getting into mischief, she has taken to being quite skittish, at times she races round the house at what seems like breakneck speeds, making emergency stops just before crashing into the door to the garden, leaping up and spinning round only to scurry back into the bedroom and under the bed returning a couple of seconds later. Sara and Richard now know the expected child is a girl and have chosen a name for her I can't remember how to spell it but it is that of one of the females in Les Miserables of which Richard is a great fan, I can't wait to be an adopted grandma again, I must be getting old and dotty I'm starting to vaguely like children! OH HORRORS!



Tuesday, October 14, 2008

 
The Illusions Chair is Almost Ready!!!

As I wrote in my last blog this year's pantomime at Eydon is hopefully going to be a cracker. One reason for this is that we are performing a couple of magical illusions in it, at last night's rehearsal Richard Oliver brought over the chair for testing. All I can say is WOW it looked good and worked (which I never doubted - despite Richard being a tad nervous about it all) so once it is tarted up with a couple of coats of varnish on, along with the cloths that will be used it should cause a bit of, if not a big sensation during the performances. Thank you Richard for working so hard and so fast on this project.

Rehearsal went fairly well, with almost everyone in attendance, the company got down to some hard work and we giggled a lot too. Got to knuckle down to devising the musical numbers now so next week could be a hard slog in getting my company, almost all confess to having at least 2 if not 3 left feet into moving in some semblance of a dance routine. I know they will pull it off eventually but it will be hard till then.

Autumn has arrived and as I look out from my lounge window the large tree behind the houses is gradually turning from deep green to shades of red and rust before shedding it leaves making the area look a delight for the eyes. The sun is shining, the sky is a pale shade of blue. So quoting Robert Browning "All's right with the world!" Even I feel fairly good too.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

 
It's Been a While


I've just today realized it is virtually 3 months since my last update on this blog about my life. I could excuse myself by saying not much has happened but that wouldn't be being honest to either you, dear reader or myself. As truth to tell quite a lot has been going on. First the Eydon Players pantomime read throughs and auditions took place in late July (more about the show later).

The purple mists have kept coming and going sometimes faster than at others, As I write I am feeling quite chipper, not quite to the level on which I'd prefer to be, but certainly coping quite well. Physically things are not so good, mobility is getting worse, I find it hard to walk very far, some days even getting from my bedroom to the hall, let alone out to my car, Last week I was determined to go to MK as a treat, I wish I'd either asked someone to join me, (to push my wheelchair) or used the local Shopmobility scheme, me being the bloody-minded stubborn old fart that I am I eventually got round the centre by foot, by the time I'd driven home I was completely and utterly shattered, so much so that I had to cancel going to rehearsal Wednesday. In fact I spent Tuesday evening, all of Wednesday indoors either resting on my recliner-sofa with my feet up or struggling about the house in my wheelchair. It is now Sunday evening and I am still suffering! Perhaps from now on I'll be sensible and stop being such a stubborn, bloody-minded old git!

Now about the pantomime. Eydon Players asked me to once again direct for them, we are deep in rehearsals for Aladdin, performances 3rd to 6th December. The Players have assembled a great team of performers and crew for the show. The script readings were very disheartening as so few people turned out for them and by the time auditions came along I was prepared to tell the committee that they should consider cancelling the show as it would be impossible to cast due to the lack of actors. Oh Boy! was I made to look a twit, prospective actors seemed to come out of the woodwork and casting was much easier than I'd imagined, yes I had some difficult choices to make and disappointed some members of the society, but I know we have gathered a top-notch company in the end.

Andrew at Carousel in Leamington is supplying wonderful costumes for the show, some brand new that he designed last year along with several designed by Cecil Beaton for the 1963 Royal Opera House production of Turandot, they are quite stunning. Richard Oliver is designing a couple of illusions for the show both of which I think will amaze the audiences in the Village Hall come showtime. We have a new Wardrobe Mistress (Jo) who despite never having done the job before is really coming up trumps. Judith, Alan, Geoff, Todd, Don and Hilary too are all seemingly making light work of everything they turn their hand to in making Aladdin the success I know it can and will be.

Steve has been struggling to sort out his car, he bought it earlier in the year and it has been nothing but a problem to him, several things going wrong with it and all costing a fortune to fix. At last he has taken the bull by the horns deciding to sell it a get one on lease through Motability. WOW what a nice car he has chosen too. A Mazda 6, I've only seen photos of one so far very impressive. He has insured me to drive it but I'm very nervous of doing so, it is a car that goes like the clappers along with being enormous

Steve continues to be my steadying influence, he keeps me going both mentally and physically by just being there whenever I need him. It doesn't matter what time it is he is there for me. Thank you Steve.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

 
Seems an Age Since I last Wrote

Well it is at least six weeks since my last epistle and I'm glad to say the "Purple Fog" lifted albeit eventually. Since it lifted I have certainly been feeling a lot better (OK there have been some down times but nowhere near as bad as it was). Steve seems to think that part of this feeling better has to do with me actually eating more regularly, I now try to have a reasonable breakfast, sometimes a proper full meal at lunchtimes at others perhaps soup and a sandwich, saving my 'full meal' till the evening. I am also finding that by eating like this I'm not throwing away as much food as before.

My birthday this year was a really quiet affair, unlike last year's housewarming cum birthday do. I had a quiet morning except for Steve and Deej ringing me at the crack of dawn, (actually 09:00hrs) and serenading me with a rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. Julie my niece came down mid afternoon and we went out for a nice early meal at one of the Buddies chain of US diners here in Northampton, this was followed by a trip to see Steve, Deej and family for a good old-fashioned gossip.

I am now a fully-fledged member of Eydon Players committee and am looking forward to starting read-throughs and auditions for the pantomime later this month, Peter is quietly reworking some of the script for me, It is a shame he and Carrie won't be able to do more in this year's show but they have committed themselves to a trip to Nepal to work in an orphanage there I really admire them for taking this on and know they will be of an enormous benefit to the place.

This summer not like the summers I remember as a child way back in what at times seems the dim and distant past I remember long, hot, sunny balmy days spent from my 12Th birthday till my 16Th lazing on the beach in Selsey or on holiday somewhere, this year we have had some good hot sunny days but right now it is RAINING yet again, something did go amiss the past 2 weeks (Wimbledon fortnight) it was sunny, dry and comfortably warm, normally it rains for most of the event. As I don't have any holiday plans set out I'll just go with the flow and enjoy when I can sitting out either on the front stoop or in the back garden of my still wonderful bungalow.

OK enough of my wittering on about everything and nothing. I'll write again in the not too distant future. Bye for now.



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